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The
field of traumatic stress continues to expand
vastly as new and expanding theories are formulated,
tested, proven and applied. Sensitive discernment
enables us to unfold ever more areas where trauma
and its lingering related stressors lie camouflaged
in wait of the moment when a stimulus intended
to initiate any appropriate, active response
instead helplessly overwhelms.
As I had read material prepared
in the early seventies, I found that helplessness
was illustrated by describing hysterical women
who used it to, ultimately, manipulate others
for their own ulterior motives. Twenty years
later, a series of psychology books, articles
and my own notes address learning theories,
reinforcements, rewards, and punishments, as
well as the theory of "learned helplessness"
in relation to helplessness. There were faint
hints that maybe there was more to helplessness
than those conceptualizations that met the eye
of the researcher or writer, with little or
no elaboration.
More recently, and in time
more vociferously, helplessness has begun to
be seen in relation to traumatic stress. Current
ideas about helplessness imply and often specifically
include criteria such as having been "overwhelmed."
For instance, an individual who has experienced
an act of violence or horror that renders him/her
numb or "paralyzed" (i.e., helpless,
overwhelmed). It should be noted that this has
nothing to do with weakness.
Somewhere in the person's past,
perhaps, there was an act that left the individual
totally incapacitated. The unconscious remembers
the futility, the impossibility, of counteracting
that earlier force which totally engulfed it.
Like a permanently implanted CD-ROM, it replays
the stimulus response cycle it had integrated
causing the person to "freeze."
Though the proscribed brevity
of this article prevents lengthy reporting of
reviewed literature and data, it is interesting
to simply look at the words that our Anglo-Saxon
languages use: The English "overwhelmed"
not only means to overpower with superior force,
to destroy and crush, but it also means to cover
or bury beneath a mass of something: its root
word in old and Middle English, whelm,
means to engulf, submerge. The precise and graphic
German use of the term "uberwaltigen"
from GEWALT (force, power, tyranny, etc.) is
related to "vergewaltigen" (force,
oppress, render helpless) and "Vergewaltigung"
(rape). Similarly, "helpless(ness)"
lends itself to linguistic interpretations and
etymological analysis. Its definitions include:
unable to help oneself, deprived of strength
and power, powerless, incapacitated, bewildered
and confused. Isn't that the way we feel when
overwhelmed?
When one experiences a traumatic
event, especially a human-produced, non-natural
traumatic incident, it is not at all surprising
that the shock of the initial trauma
ingrains itself so indelibly. Consequently,
in later situations, including actions for self-preservation
and survival, the same feelings emerge and leave
the person once again feeling bewildered, confused,
and paralyzed with fear and anger. The individual
may also feel overpowered, engulfed and left
submerged - drowned in helpless, overwhelming
emotion.
The effects of reacting as
if one is, again, helpless and overwhelmed in
situations that generally would not engender
such strong or extreme responses, become evident
in a multitude of life situations encountered
by the traumatized person. For example, consider:
The abused spouse. No matter how many
support groups, theoretical ideas, comprehensive
information and negative experiences present
in their current relationship, the abused and
neglected spouse (more often than not) stays
in the relationship. If one scratches the surface
deep enough, we often find a person traumatized
in early life who must first deal with THAT
trauma before successfully moving on within/from
the current situation. Trauma clouds self esteem.
The severely obese person.
No matter how many quick-fix diets are tried,
"pay-as-you-go" diet programs are
joined, exercise clubs and equipment purchased
and health scares touted, much of the theoretical
knowledge of the aforementioned measures remains
blocked from practical applications. What is
missing is that little voice inside that says,
"I want to, I want to." This essential
voice says YES to life. Once helplessly
overwhelmed, that voice that may have been drowned
in terror, now drowns itself in food because,
behind the voice, is a person who sees herself
or himself as "unworthy." One can
be made whole again. Self-esteem needs healing.
The fifty-something woman,
divorced; widowed; single, even when married.
Worried into panic that she lacks the means
to survive for as long as she is expected to
live and immobilized by her fear, she believes
financial management is beyond her ability or
comprehension regardless of her role as housewife
or career woman. It is not that she is unable
to learn how to understand financial matters,
investments and strategies. Rather, she plays
"hot-potato" with financial responsibility
for self because she was taught that "she
can't", "isn't smart or good enough."
Healthy self-esteem means accepting responsibility
for self.
Oh, the insidiousness of traumatic
stress. The negativity of posttraumatic stress
insinuates itself into every venue of life destroying
the little everyday joys that constitute the
large part of living. While therapeutic groups
and mental health professionals speak a lot
about empowerment, taking charge, exercising
control, and moving on and beyond, they are
frequently oblivious to one key ingredient -
denial. Helplessness is denied, misunderstood,
and hidden because, culturally, it is seen as
weakness, inability, and a cop-out.
Unless we acknowledge helplessness,
validate its existence, address its insidiousness
and pervasiveness, call it by its name, point
to it in various behaviors, actions, thoughts
and patterns - we are not engendering self-determination,
power or self-esteem. We are merely covering
traumatic residue with present-day varnish that
will last until the next crisis comes, the next
stressor is encountered, or another trauma occurs.
Helplessness is. It is. It
has a why, and in that why lies the
how of overcoming it. First and foremost,
comes identification, then recognition, awareness,
acceptance, resolution and action. Transcending
it is a key for living.
Learning that one has a right
to respond in a helpless manner based on prior
trauma is taking ownership of self back. It
is OK to be helpless. Not bad, not weak, it's
simply all right to be.
Enforced helplessness. Calling
it by its name mitigates its debilitating stigma.
It is neither fault nor weakness. It is not
coming from within, it was enforced by the outside
and had been erroneously accepted and integrated
by the self. Recognition. Labeling. We must
legitimize this feeling by giving it a name.
By this very act, empowerment is achieved. Lasting
empowerment emanating from the very core of
within, of self.
The individual must recognize
that he/she is infinitely capable, and in a
loving and gentle caring manner, forgive oneself
for the mistake of buying into the helplessness
ploy. Simultaneously, one must not feel ashamed
of admitting this error - this is the road to
genuine healing, empowerment, and self-esteem.
This includes self-care and self-love. These
latter two concepts demonstrate a mature responsibility
for self.
In summary, it behooves experts in the field
of trauma to further study helplessness as it
relates to the underlying cause for traumatic
stress-related symptoms which precipitate crises.
Recognizing the "what" - overwhelming
and helplessness - is a big step in developing
the "how" - how to set goals and plan
for their attainment.
©1998 by
The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic
Stress, Inc. |
