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Saturdays
are notoriously light for me. I see clients
half of the day unless I am running a group;
then I have an evening of fun to look forward
to with my friends. This Saturday began as any
other, maybe a few more phone calls than usual.
It was to be a short day with a special treat
from my massage therapist. Writing this article
on Keeping The Vampire Away was to
complete my agenda. So much for the well-planned
agenda.
A smile dances on my face as
I pen this very time-appropriate article. My
first client was a young woman who has grown
in leaps and pirouettes since I first met her.
She was then married to a man who was sexually
and verbally abusive and who refused to come
to therapy for help.
The rest of the day was markedly
different. My next session was with a couple
in their thirties. He had a gun to his head
two weeks prior. His wife, denying the severity
of this situation - even as he says he doesn't
trust himself not to do it again, says why should
she have to get rid of the gun?
My next couple presented in
our first interview with the wife's very psychiatrically-involved
profile, O.C.D., severe depression, and dissociative
disorder. The physical, sexual, and verbal abuse
began in her infancy - and she finds it impossible
to actively participate in life. Her dysthymic
husband struggles with his inherited low self-esteem
and the reality that his love for her is indeed
"not good enough."
I then return phone calls and
hear from a referring psychiatrist that our
mutual client is in crisis. There's a question
as to whether Dyfus should be involved in the
case and I support her taking the appropriate
measures for assuring safety for the children
involved.
My massage is out of this world!
I am definitely in my own altered state of consciousness
as my body accepts the nurturing and my mind
floats in a warm cocoon. We hug and part as
I reach for my ringing phone.
The next forty minutes are
spent reassuring a frightened woman and her
family who had just recognized that an evil
part of her "takes over" her personality
and is threatening her life. At the end of this
conversation, I decide to set this article aside
for completion at another less stressful time!
The NIH forum on Mind-Body
Interactions and Disease Symposium in Bethesda,
Md. cited studies showing the effects of stress
and depression on physical health and resistance
to disease - and the benefits of measures like
group therapy and counseling. (We suggest that
for our clients all the time.) Susan J. Blumenthal,
a physician and co-chair of this symposium,
discussed the benefits of these "low cost
psycho-social interventions in treating many
patients."
David Spiegel, a psychiatrist
at the University of California, discussed the
now well-known study that documented that patients
with advanced breast cancer, who participated
in a weekly support group and therapy group,
lived twice as long as those who did not. (This
is certainly no surprise to those in our field.)
How is it that we who know
compelling information which consistently affirms
the value of human support systems, are so lax
in assuring that for ourselves?! Why do we who
counsel others, hour after hour, trauma after
trauma, remain essentially isolated in our enormously
responsible and challenging roles? While agencies
do provide connection through staff meetings
and supervision, not all private practice clinicians
choose to avail themselves of such valuable
interaction and validation. It's not readily
available, and the idea of creating such vehicles
for ourselves often feels like another task
which takes time and energy.
Many of us are idealists who
enter the field with powerful intentions - we
are going to make a difference. For those of
us who do not dissociate, our idealism is sorely
shattered or, we hang on by a thread after hearing,
seeing, and feeling the results of man's inhumanity
to man/woman/child! Our once profound belief
in a core "good" gets rocked and socked
and we are face to face with raw pain or that
which has been translated into raw, ugly, venomous
rage. We sit in our chairs before these hurting
people seeking to create a context of hope for
our clients - and for ourselves, as well.
McCann and Pearlman, authors
of Vicarious Traumatization: The Emotional
Cost Of Working With Survivors in Treating
Abuse Today state, "Long-term work
with survivors can create a sense of cynicism
or despair in helpers as they are faced with
the darkest aspect of humanity and the horror
of senseless violence." They go on to say
that clinicians are at risk for alteration to
their own cognitive schema and memory - the
very focus of our treatment for trauma survivors.
Our work may leave us vulnerable to damage
to our own beliefs about trust, safety,
power, esteem.
Many of us are not only idealists,
we are perfectionists as well, and Victor Malatesta,
Ph. D. at the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital
says, "rightly so, since (we) hold someone
else's life in (our) hands." This
author comments, it's vital to know our own
limitations, too!
If, indeed, it is our commitment
to the excellence of our craft, and a genuine
regard with which we hold our clients, it is
imperative that we minister to our own mental,
physical and spiritual health. Our lives need
to be balanced with fun and nurturing, as well
as continued learning and professional growth.
We need to take note from our colleagues who
are personally thriving and who are able to
maintain their enthusiasm for their work.
So, how do I
cope? Let me count the ways I fight
off that vampire who can, indeed, suck the energy
and spirit from our lives...
- I use the phone for human connection -
i.e., my friend who says "I love you"
and commiserates when I have a rare "no
show," or a colleague who shares my
love for silly and outrageous banter.
- An early morning ski on my Nordic (actually
increases my energy for the long hours ahead)
- Having dates scheduled such as interesting
trainings or conferences, a woman's day
out, a rare disco night
- A busman's holiday - lunch with a colleague
to discuss cases
- Supervision to keep my diagnostic and
therapy skills honed and challenged by a
respected peer
- Massage for some self-centered tactile
nurturing
- A piece of stirring music
- A peek into my library for a brief scan
of some book which has been beckoning me
Affiliations with such professionally supportive
groups such as the American Association
of Marriage and Family Therapists or
National Association of Social Workers.
- Keeping my reading current
- Deep breathing, self-hypnosis and imagery
- Bubble baths (but then I have to wash
the tub)
- Aromas, such as flowers, cologne, baking,
cup of herbal tea
- Re-read the articles on "Time"
in the January/February 1995 Family Therapy
Networker and create a new life-affirming
perspective!
- E.M.D.R., T.F.T., Tapas...
We can choose one from column
A and two from column B; and, if we are to remain
true to our committed mission as therapists,
we need to listen to our own inner music and
pay it homage.
The mind and the body are simultaneously
stimulated and our life's blood is at stake.
Self-love/respect is the antidote to the vampire's
fangs. Let him seek his kill elsewhere. We have
important work to do!
Now, for that warm, delicious
bubble bath! Did I hear the phone? Anyone for
T.F.T.?
©1998 by
The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic
Stress, Inc. |
