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The
Relation Between Bullying Among Siblings and
Among Peers
“Mum, my brother
is teasing me!” “Dad, my brother
won’t let me use the computer!”
Fights and quarrels are quite frequent in each
family and one of the main efforts of parents
is to maintain peace between siblings. Do these
fights matter? How much can these disputes and
conflicts help siblings to learn skills in social
relationships or, alternatively, enhance aggression
and negative behaviors such as bullying?
Having a sibling is frequently considered a
resource for children’s development (1,
2). In fact, positive interactions as well as
conflicts and disputes with a brother or a sister
provide a natural context in which children
can learn mediations skills, respect of the
others, empathy and caring in a relatively protected
environment (1). However, siblings’ relationships
also have the potential to affect children’s
development negatively. Especially if younger
children have older brothers, they can experience
a higher level of aggression and assimilate
and transfer this problematic behaviour into
the school context (3).
Sibling relationships are characterized by
a balance of affect and conflict; if conflict
is mitigated by affect, the relationship can
provide a positive context for learning social
skills and for understanding other people’s
emotions and perspectives. In contrast, children
who experience high levels of conflict and low
levels of affect are more likely to show social
problems in the peer context (1, 4). On the
whole, a clear association emerges between sibling
experiences and peer problems outside the family.
If the relation is positive, children can benefit
from sibling experiences; if the relationship
is aggressive, such behaviour may also turn
up outside of the home (4, 5).
Is this true also for bullying? Can we call
the frequent conflicts and disputes between
siblings bullying? Comparing sibling conflicts
and school bullying we find common elements
but also specific differences. To be considered
bullying in either context, the interactions
must show:
•an intentional nature
- the bully deliberately brings damage to the
victim;
•persistency - the
attacks are repeated over time;
•an imbalance of power
– often the bully is stronger than the
victim, who is not able to react effectively.
Beyond these common elements. bullying behaviours
in the home and school context do differ in
one important regard – in the school context,
bullying is recognized as social in nature,
with such behaviour often directed to the group,
through the public attack on the victim. The
dynamic between siblings is more direct and
typically does not involve a larger group of
witnesses. Furthermore, quarrels and fighting
at home may be more common and therefore less
disapproved than in school context.
We recently carried out a study of 195 children,
aged 10-12 years, all of whom had a brother
or sister who were up to 4 years younger or
older than themselves (6). We found that the
presence of bullying and victimization is as
strong among siblings as among peers. The problem
seems even more worrisome at home.
•Children reported higher bullying and
victimization at home and higher victimization
by older brothers. Respectively, 38.4% and 34.4.%
reported bullying and victimization experiences
at home, with particularly higher levels of
bullying boys (48.9%). By contrast, lower levels
of bullying and victimization were reported
in school: 17.1% and 23.2%, respectively. Thus,
we can assume that at home it is more common
to reciprocate attacks and fights among siblings,
as the relationship is more intimate and less
affected by the risk of loosing the relationships,
as compared to interactions with peers or within
friendships.
•We also found a significant correlation
between sibling and school bullying and victimization,
in that some children who were bullies or victims
at home seemed to maintain their roles at school.
•With regard to gender differences,
we found that children were victimized more
often by brothers than by sisters. When birth
order was considered, together with gender,
we found that children were victimized more
often by older brothers than by older sisters
or by younger brothers and sisters. Bullying
at home was more often perpetrated by older
brothers who often provided their younger brothers
and sisters with modeling and training in the
use of social behaviours, including aggression.
In relation to bullying behavior, Patterson
(3) underlined how older siblings tend to victimize
younger siblings and how the more submissive
behavior of younger siblings can reinforce older
siblings’ attacks. However, at the same
time, younger siblings’ exposure to aggression
promotes aggressive behavior that often generalizes
to children’s behavior with their peers.
We can also ask ourselves why children develop
a bullying relation with their siblings. According
to our research, the characteristics associated
with bullying siblings varies for boys and girls.
For boys, personal characteristics, particularly
emotional instability, and the degree of conflicts
can account for siblings tendency to bully each
other more. For girls, a low level of empathy
and caring between the two siblings can be a
significant predictor of bullying (6).
Parents should:
•pay more attention to sibling relationships,
•try to mediate and to prevent high
levels of conflict, especially if they have
older sons,
•mediate especially when children are
more impulsive and irritable, or
•if their relationships appear negative
and full of conflict.
In conclusion, our research indicates that
siblings relationships can, in some cases, serve
as a “training ground” for bullying,
deviancy and aggression through social learning
processes or behavioral patterns that can be
reinforced across contexts. In order to prevent
and reduce sibling bullying.
School teachers, on the other hand, will need
to adopt a multi-contextual approach to the
problem, a “family – school”
focus to understand bullying and to contrast
its diffusion. Bullying starts at an early age
and greater efforts should be made to prevent
and to combat its growth both at home and in
school contexts.
References
1. Brody G. H. (2004). Siblings’
direct and indirect contributions to child development.
Current Directions in Psychological Science,
13,3,124-126.
2. Dunn, J. (1988). Sibling influences
on childhood development. Journal of Child Psychology
and Psychiatry, 29, 119-127.
3. Patterson, G. R. (1986). The
contribution of siblings to training for fighting.
A microsocial analysis. In D. Olweus, J. Block
& M. Radke-Yarrow (Eds.). The development
of antisocial and prosocial behavior (pp. 235-261).
New York: Academic Press
4. Bank, L., Burraston, B., &
Snyder, J. (2004). Sibling conflict and ineffective
parenting as predictors of adolescent boys’
antisocial behavior and peer difficulties: Additive
and interactional effects. Journal of Research
on Adolescence, 14, 99–125.
5. Pike, A, Coldwell, J., &
Dunn, J. F. (2005). Sibling relationships in
early/middle childhood: Links with individual
adjustment. Journal of Family Psychology, 19,
523–532.
6. Menesini E., Camodeca M.,
Nocentini A. (2008) Bullying among siblings:
the role of relational and personality variables.
British Journal Of Developmental Psychology,
submitted.
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