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is very important that when a victim of sexual
abuse comes forth and reports the crime to family,
friends, law enforcement, and others, that he
or she be listened to in the most sincere fashion
possible. Studies have shown that the most credible
account of what occurred during a rape or child
molestation comes from the victim him/herself.
Studies suggest that approximately 3-5% of all
rape or child molestation allegations that are
reported are false...Therefore, nearly 95% are
based on a factual incident. When a victim comes
forth and reports the crime, there will almost
undoubtedly be two sides to the story: the victim's
disclosure and the offender's. It is important
to remember that the offender will most likely
find people to support his/her story. This is
a part of the offender's mode of operation--to
have a planned out alibi with people to support
it. When the victim is related to the offender,
a sharp divide may consume the family system,
with some family members supporting the alleged
offender's story and others supporting the victim's.
This divide not only serves to facilitate familial
dysfunction, but also can severely traumatize
the victim and create a very strong perception
of shame and guilt for reporting.
There are thousands of victims
of sexual abuse that never come forward and
report the crime. This may be due to a number
of factors. First, the grooming technique an
offender uses can make the victim feel as if
he or she was an active participant in the abuse
itself. If the victim feels this way, they may
not report the crime because they may feel responsible
in some way. A rape victim may not report the
crime out of fear, since many rapists will tell
the victim that if they disclose the crime,
he will return (however, very few rapists actually
do). The victim of sexual abuse may be very
aware that people may doubt his/her disclosure,
their character, their choices, and because
of this perception, they may not disclose. This
would be considered the community reaction to
the crime, and it includes boyfriends/husbands,
the police, neighbors, family, the court, etc.
There are still numerous people
in our society that feel that rape is justified
under certain conditions. Many people believe
that a prostitute "cannot" be raped.
Just imagine if a prostitute entered a police
station and reported that she had just been
raped. If the police are aware that she is a
prostitute, how might they react? Moreover,
maybe the woman chooses not to tell the officers
that she is a prostitute. How would she relate
the dynamics of the crime? How would the police
react when they discover she is a prostitute?
In an American Medical Association
study, over half of the 6000 teenagers stated
that there were some circumstances under which
rape is acceptable, such as if the male and
female had dated six months or longer or if
he'd spent considerable money on her.
Much of the psychological damage
a victim receives comes not from the assault
itself, but from the post assault reactions
from others. It is very important that police
investigators and prosecutors recognize how
their behavior with the victim affects not only
the immediate and long-term ability to deal
with the incident, but also his or her willingness
to assist in a prosecution. Recognizing this
fact, the first people who come in contact with
a victim post assault have an opportunity to
set the stage, through their behavior and reactions,
for an easier or more difficult recovery for
the victim.
It is important to understand
that there is no single, standard, or "appropriate"
victim response to rape or molestation. There
would be two general response types that many
victims follow: expressive or guarded. Some
victims will be very verbal, be in tears, and
be angry, and so forth following the offense.
Others will be guarded, quiet, attempt to go
on. Some victims may switch back and forth from
being expressive to guarded.
When a sexual assault occurs,
there are numerous victims that are produced.
Obviously, there is the primary victim--the
one in which the assault was directly targeted
to. There are many other secondary victims.
The children of the victim, husband, and other
family members. They will all grieve in their
own way, and it is important for professionals
to assist everyone involved.
Investigators, juries, judges,
prosecutors, and everyone else must understand
that rape victims, immediately following the
assault, may not react with all of their normal
faculties. When someone suffers a traumatic
event, it may take a while for your head to
clear and your heart rate to return to normal.
For sexual assault victims, this temporary detachment
may result in delays in reporting...Which can
also hinder a successful prosecution. If there
is a delay in reporting the assault, it is imperative
that investigators and prosecutors do not berate
her, or challenge her for not reporting immediately.
Instead, they should recognize the courage it
takes to report a crime of this nature (and
to survive such crimes), and no one should ever
second-guess the victim’s tactics in handling
the crisis.
Many victims of sexual abuse
do fully recover. This is not to suggest that
they ever forget about what occurred, because
they do not. However, they can, with the help
of family, friends, and professionals, go on
with their lives and be happy again.
Victims of Child Molestation
Being sexually abused as a
child or as a teenager can have a wide-range
of both short and long-term effects. Many times,
the offenders will try and use the following
line in their defense, "if I really sexually
abused him/her, why did she still want to play
with me?". I will also be told from family
members of offenders that the alleged victim
and offender are very close and have a good
relationship. These dynamics can be very confusing
(especially for the victim) for mental health
professionals, law enforcement, judges, and
prosecutors. How can a child be sexually abused
by someone close to him/her, yet still want
to "play" with that person, or have
a relationship with that person?
The reason this may occur is
due to what we call grooming, or the method
the offender used to have the victim comply
with his or her wishes. For instance, if the
offender was very nice to the victim prior to
the offending, bought gifts, or gave special
attention to the victim, the child victim would
naturally yearn for such behaviors or items.
Just as important, however, is the fact that
the victim may be a close relative to the offender,
and truly does not want the offender to leave
(especially if this is in conjunction with gifts
and attention); however, this does not mean
the victim wants the abuse to continue.
Many people erroneously believe
that child victims of sexual abuse are always
traumatized by the abuse, and overtly angry
with the offender. Sometimes this could not
be farther from the truth. I have worked with
both adult men and women who have been sexually
abused as children, who state that they were
not traumatized, nor did they want the offender
to be incarcerated. Did the sexual abuse affect
them? Of course, just not in a traumatic way.
The abuse may have affected their boundaries,
sexual interests and behaviors, trust, and sexual
orientation; however, it did not traumatize
them. What may traumatize them, however, is
the reaction from others. For instance, if the
child and offender were caught by the child's
mother, and the mother, rightfully so, goes
ballistic. Within minutes the police arrive
and take the child away. In a few hours, the
child is being interviewed by child protective
service workers, who may be acting like something
traumatic happened. The child will then interpret
the entire situation as traumatic, even if the
child did not interpret the abuse, at the time,
as traumatic.
A very high degree of psychological
damage can occur if the offender makes the victim
feel physical pleasure during the offense(s).
This will produce a level of guilt and shame
that is very powerful. Moreover, the victim
is less likely to disclose the abuse, and if
he or she does, they are very likely to minimize
it. This would be because the victim may feel
partly to blame for the abuse because they experienced
pleasure (this is a grooming technique). I have
treated countless victims who, after the abuse
was revealed (either through someone observing,
or indirectly), did not disclose the full extent.
They fear they will get in trouble for not telling
themselves, and fear and shame because they
experienced physical pleasure. As the victims
grow older, they may be unable to process the
abuse, and continue to blame both themselves
as well as the offender. The shame produced
can be so intense as to create suicidal ideation,
a loss of "self", and self-destructive
behaviors.
Victims of child sexual abuse
can go on to lead normal, healthy lives. They
can learn to let go of the pain, and to increase
their self-awareness of how the abuse affected
them. Sometimes it takes the right therapist,
just the right book, or even just time.
Return
to The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic
Stress Homepage
Rosenberg and
Associates can be reached at www.angelfire.com/mi/collateral/victims.html.
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